Updated: Mar 11
Yes, sex between two persons is great. And yes, sex without anything else than just the own two - or three, or even more - bodies is not per se something that needs enhancement. But I have to place an equally strong yes to using sex toys not being a sign, that you or your sex life are somehow deficient. So, let’s talk about this in a bit more detail.
Not necessary, but possibly fun
I would like to point out once more, that the notion that using sex toys other than for yourself somehow marks you or your sex life as deficient, is more than misguided. On the contrary, believe me when I say, that you even considering to use sex toys for your sex encounters shows how mature, well-mannered and thoughtful you are and increases your worth as a lover instantly. So please, do not let anybody tell you, that your consideration somehow is proof of anything else than you being a good and highly skilled lover.
Of course, sex toys are not necessary for having really good sex and encounters without the use of them can be equally mindblowing. Nature basically gave us everything we need for experiencing sensational sex, from our bodies and body parts to our senses. Good sex is not mainly about technical hardware or the craziest sex positions and the fanciest locations, but much more about the ability to give in to each other and connect on a physical and mental level. It is about using our senses to the fullest, granting each other full attention, and being willing to provide and receive lust.
And still, why not occasionally break the pattern and spice up your sex play with some sex toys. Not only does it give you the opportunity to try out something new, but also viewing your partner from a different perspective, as by using sex toys you might get the chance to simply watch your partner indulging in ecstasy without being body-wise fully occupied. Now imagine what a perfectly horny view that could be. In addition, using sex toys can simply be fun and who does not like to have a good grin from time to time.
How to get started with sex toys
Naturally, the answer to this question always depends on who you are talking to. I personally am very laid back when it comes to sex in general and most probably am an easy person to talk about sex to. My counterparts always sense that they can talk about everything with me and that there is nothing that could be too much for me to talk about or manage.
But of course, in general talking about sex and even more sex toys with normal women or men can initially be awkward. I recommend you take it slow and do not rush the topic or be too pushy about it. Make sure to bring it up in a calm and relaxed situation and to rather start the conversation on a general level and by asking questions and being honest about your own point of view. You do not want your counterpart to feel interrogated or somehow put on the spot by being “the only one” who is giving away their thoughts about it.
Also, remember that only because you talked about it once does not mean, that you can immediately fully dive into it and try out 10 different toys the same day or evening. Give the topic some time to sink in and your partner the time to process what you talked about.
And never forget: You bringing up and driving the topic is not only absolutely normal and not harmful but also proves, that you are a confident and thoughtful lover.