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Ways to spot if your partner is orgasming

The female orgasm remains a magical and partially mysterious thing, especially for men. Often one might not be quite sure if the female counterpart climaxed, mostly and foremost if the woman tends to be a rather silent one. Here are some hints, on how to find out, if she came or not.

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Effects of an orgasm

Reaching climax has several effects on one’s body. Not only does it activate a ton of brain regions and therefore also release the “love hormone” oxytocin, but it also increases one’s happiness, due to the additional release of the “happiness hormone” serotonin. It is scientifically safe to say having sex and even more orgasming makes you happy and peaceful.

But not only that: An orgasm can reduce pain within a few minutes and for example be helpful if you are having a headache or even a migraine. Also, sex and subsequently an orgasm stimulate the pleasure centre in the brain and puts the body in an intoxicated state - due to the release of the hormone dopamine. Further, the immense arousal also stimulates circulation and blood flow in the uppermost layers of the skin, which is why you are often left with slightly red cheeks after sex. And last but not least, climaxing together during sex strengthens the emotional bond between partners.

Now of course, except for the red cheeks maybe, all these effects cannot be seen by the other person, they are rather things one experiences personally and even internally. This still leaves us with the question, how to spot if your counterpart has an orgasm or not.

Physical signs of the female orgasm

No worries, next to the mentioned rather internal and non-visible signs there are also several signs that very well visible - if you know what to look for. What we are talking about here are physical signs or better put body signals that will help you recognize when your partner is having an orgasm. Like this, in the future, you will be able to tell if your lady really comes or if she is maybe faking it.

But remember: Even if she is faking it, do not take it negatively immediately. I recommend you talk to her about it. Firstly, because the female orgasm is not as simple as the male one might be and second because her faking it might very well happen based on her either having issues with climaxing or/and wanting to still please you and give you a good feeling - so no bad intentions. By taking up the topic in a relaxed and cosy moment you will not only prove your genuine interest in her and her feeling but maybe even find out interesting things about each other that will help you to deepen your relationship and even increase the quality of your sexual life.

No guaranty

Before we continue about the several body signals that speak for her really having an orgasm, let me tell you one thing right off the bat: you can never really be sure about this point. Your best shot is to build an honest and truthful relationship with your counterpart so that she feels free to let you know if she came or not and how you can maybe help her come.

Listen to her breathing

Just before a woman climaxes, her breathing changes. During orgasm, she breathes faster and shorter - afterwards, her breathing relaxes and becomes deeper and calmer. However, breathing is something that can also be consciously influenced so she might also be using it to give the impression of climaxing. But again, in a genuine relationship, this should not be necessary.

Have a look at her toes

If the orgasm is real, your partner will fall into a kind of short muscle rigidity: the feet are spread, the body tense. Especially the spreading of the toes is a clear sign that the woman is about to experience her climax. Again, particularly talented orgasm fakers can also fake the toe rigidity, of course, and it might also occur, that the toe rigidity is shown in a different form then spreading the toes, so maybe your partner rather points them or claws them together. Also, you trying to have a look at her toes during sex might be slightly awkward, so this is not the most practical way of checking if she is coming or not.

Feel her wetness

Some women produce more vaginal secretions during orgasm and because of the increasing desire before it. In general, one can say that the wetter her vagina becomes, the more likely it is that she is really orgasming. Now while this is a sign that women cannot influence themselves it is important to point out, that it does not apply to all women. So again, it can be a sign, but it does not have to.

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What does her face look like?

Now here comes a rather edgy assumption: If one assumes, that women are rather vain, then checking their facial expression during sex might indicate if they are truly climaxing or rather faking it. This due to the fact, that many women - and men as well by the way - go into some sort of facial gymnastics when coming that they can not or at least do not care to control while experiencing an orgasm. If they are faking it, on the other hand, women will not make too bad grimaces because, as said at the beginning, they are too vain for that. It is a theory, although I am not too convinced by it, especially the too vain part.

Look for the “sex flush”

Remember the red cheeks I spoke about earlier due to the increased blood flow? Well, one could say that the so-called sex flush is the altered version of this and particularly fair-skinned people can get it during orgasm. It shows by red spots on any parts of the body although it is often seen especially on the face. Equally to red cheeks, it appears as a reaction to the increased blood flow that comes along with sex. Similar to other body signals, this sign can as well not be faked but at the same time, it also does not occur in all women. So for being able to use this as a sign of a true orgasm, you would have to establish, if it occurs at all first.

Sense for muscle twitching

Here comes another body signal, that you might want to hold out for. During orgasm, the muscles in your counterpart’s vagina contract in jerks and waves. These muscle contractions originate in her pelvic floor muscles and can also be seen in the labia, mons pubis, clitoris and even her anus. Now again, these contractions can be induced intentionally, especially if your lady has a strong pelvic floor and high pelvic muscle control. This might be the case if she practises yoga, pilates, pole dance or any other sport that uses a lot of lower upper body. Then again, her having high pelvic muscle control can as well benefit her and also your sex life, because be contracting those muscles on purpose she can also help herself reach climax. From that perspective, you sensing pelvic muscle twitching is good anyways, no matter if she is doing it on purpose or because she is really coming.

Listen to the sound - or not

Although especially the porn industry might push the picture that women moan and scream when they orgasm, I have to disappoint you on this one. How loud or not a woman is during sex is not really a good indicator if she is truly climaxing or not. Women’s reactions during sex and climax are various and very different so that the volume is truly not a good indicator for anything. While some women might indeed be loud per se or get louder when coming, other women are rather quiet and do not express themselves vocally during sex or climax. Also, both loud moaning, as well as silent enjoyment, can be consciously produced.

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Add some spice to ensure her orgasming

Now before you chase off and start constantly screening your lady for possible body signals during sex, let me remind you of the following: In general, most women do not reach climax just through intercourse or penetration alone. On the contrary, most of them need some kind of additional stimulation for orgasming. No matter if it is you granting them some clitoral stimulation while having sex, or if you touch and work their personal hot spots or adding to the whole sensation by hot foreplay and some kissing magic, it is always the best way to make a woman come if you not only focus on the pure intercourse.

By that, I am quite sure that if you look deep into her eyes after the sexual act, you will be able to see if she really came or not. If she looks all happy and satisfied, that probably means that she enjoyed the tête-à-tête, no matter if she came or not. Oh, and please refrain from asking bluntly if you were good, that is kind of a turn-off.


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