Things to avoid doing in bed - Part 2

Updated: Feb 24

So we have looked at some of the things that you will want to avoid doing in bed already. But as I have pointed out, the devil lies in the detail - and there are quite some more details than the ones I have shown you last time. Here are some more behaviours that your lady most probably will not appreciate you doing while having hot fun together.

The perks of avoiding misdemeanours during sex

I am aware, that it might seem a bit cagey to talk about misdemeanours in bed, but my experience simply taught me, that if both partners are willing to be there best self during sex, they will both get the most out of it. The reason is quite simple: Imagine yourself getting it on with your partner, really being in the moment and letting the heat and passion lead you. Then suddenly your counterpart does something, that annoys you. Admit it, this kind of disturbs your flow and might even get you out of the zone. What a shame, considering that by simply avoiding this (maybe tiny) thing you would have been going on and would be enjoying yourselves still.

Well, what might happen to you can also happen to women - and it is an equally sad thing because I am pretty sure that your partner would want to continue having full-on fun with you as well. So let me give you some more hints as to what misdemeanours you can try to avoid to ensure that you two will not be interrupted by any irritating behaviours. Because the fewer interruptions you create, the more you can both heat up and experience a full-on sensual, intense and satisfying sexual encounter.

Misdemeanour #5: Focusless

I am pretty sure that you would not like this misdemeanour as well and as they say “Practice what you preach”. So, make sure to be focussed on your counterpart while enjoying a sexual encounter. Do not let yourself be distracted by other things, such as your phone, the tv or something you hear on the radio. There is nothing more annoying but also hurtful than to not pay attention to your partner while getting it on. If you are not in for sex than better say so instead of starting out and then letting yourself be distracted. You would not want her to go thru her grocery shopping list while having sex either, right?

Misdemeanour #6: Trying to reproduce a porn

You watching porns is absolutely fine, but you trying to reproduce them without talking it out with her first, is quite annoying. As much as porns might turn you on, it is a fact that the situations displayed by them are often not as realistic - in the end, it is a movie and not reality by all means. So I recommend you do not try to act as if you were filming porn and if you would like to do so than let her know first and see if she agrees to it. Otherwise, your porn related behaviour might weird her out and kill the mood.

Misdemeanour #7: Mimicking a bunny

Maybe you have heard women talk about it: The bunny-fuck. If not trust me, it is not something referred to with joy and pleasure. It rather is something women mention while talking about their worst sexual encounters. So please, do not pretend to be the Duracell-Bunny. Going high-tempo and not changing or adapting your rhythm is not the way to make her happy and give her an orgasm. It is instead the way to make her cringe.

Misdemeanour #8: Keeping quiet

No, you do not need to yell and shout. But being mute is neither the way to go. Women as well like to get feedback, and the best way of doing so next to body interaction is to make yourself heard. That can be you merely breathing heavier, or moaning or also finding words to put your pleasure in. Now, remember misdemeanour #4: You would not want to be a drillmaster. Giving feedback is about letting your counterpart know, that you like what you are getting, what you see or what you sense. It is about communicating verbally or non-verbally being in the moment together, both aware and awake. If you are too quiet, your lady might think she is fucking a dead fish - and that is not a pleasant thing to do.

Misdemeanour #9: Trying to win an Olympic medal

Yes, intense sex is cool and nice and pleasurable. At the same time, you should not solely focus on how long your sexual encounter lasts. It is not about winning an Olympic medal in the division of a sexual marathon. Much more, you will want to focus on the intensity of your encounter and really give in to the mood and the vibe. No woman likes being penetrated for hours, honestly, with time, it even starts hurting and does not feel right. The path to follow here is “quality over quantity”.

Misdemeanour #10: Skipping the afterplay

Yes, we have established that foreplay is important. And yes, focussing on the intensity of the sexual act is important as well. But skipping afterplay is not how you want to end up to that point perfectly played sex game. Even if you personally do not need an afterplay, believe me when I say that she will very much appreciate it. Afterplay gives you the opportunity to slowly calm down and zoom out together and take a minute or two to go thru the motions once more. Grant yourself and your counterpart the pleasure of taking a minute to sense each other a bit longer - it will make you a very welcomed sex partner.

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- xoxo -


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