Things to avoid doing in bed - Part 1

Updated: 3 days ago

We all know about those little things and actions, that kind of annoys us in bed. Like her always turning off the lights when you are about to have sex or her disappearing into the bathroom for ages, just before you get it on. Well, I am sorry to say, but men can equally do annoying things in bed. Here are some things you will want to avoid doing for keeping your lady happy.

The devil lies in the detail

“Oh well, that is not as bad, don’t be so extreme” is what you might think now. But, although little details might only bother us a small bit in the beginning, if they are done repeatedly, over time they become annoying. The issue with being, that once they have become annoying, they have an impact on our experience and might even lead to a person not totally looking forward to having sex with the specific counterpart.

The saying “the devil lies in the detail” does not come from nowhere, it points out very well, what sometimes is forgotten: Even the smallest things can become great obstacles if not anticipated and dealt with over time. Therefore, as a thoughtful and clever sex partner, you will want to know, what those annoying things for women are and easily avoid them.

Misdemeanour #1: Grab her by the pussy

Although certain people might think that this is something that women like or get turned on by, I can assure you, it is not. Immediately grabbing her pussy and giving it a rub, even thru her clothes, is not the best move to start with. On the contrary: Ladies appreciate a certain code of conduct and that means not focusing on the most intimate body parts from the beginning. Instead of going for her crutch or her breast immediately you better start slowly and turn your attention to her secondary erogenous zones, like her neck, her lips or her collarbone. After giving her a nice warm-up, you may gladly proceed to greet her primary erogenous zones, e.g. her breasts, her vulva and vagina as well as her bum.

Misdemeanour #2: Not respecting No-Go zones

You might have them as well, or not, but regardless of that, make sure to respect her boundaries. Some ladies have certain body areas that are a No-Go-zone - at least at that moment. Make sure to be a respectful counterpart and do not try to cross over those set boundaries thinking that if you only try often enough, she will at some point say yes. This behaviour will not only lead to her being annoyed but most probably also to her not choosing you as her sexual partner over time. If on the contrary, you show respect and be patient she will for sure let you know, when the No-Go-zone becomes a Go-zone.

Misdemeanour #3: Clit-Attack

Remember that a woman functions differently than a man. Therefore, “attacking” her clitoris is not the same for her, as it is for you if she focusses on your penis. The clit is an extremely sensitive body part of women and therefore demands to be treated with delicacy. Apart from not going for the clit immediately you will also want to be very gentle in your approach. Especially if she is not wet enough yet, make sure to either work on that by treating her entire body until she gets wet or to use enough lube. Also, no matter if you are using your fingers, your lips, or your tongue, make sure to not be too hard and not move too fast.

Misdemeanour #4: Do not be a drillmaster

Having sex is something you share as a couple of any kind. It is about connection and interaction, about listening to each other’s bodies and giving each other enough space to explore and interact. Sometimes it still happens that men confuse giving orders with dirty talk. But attention, this is not the same. While women might appreciate good dirty talk, they mostly do not like being commanded to do certain things. Dirty talk is about saying things in a particular manner and letting your counterpart know what you would like or go off on in the moment but is not giving orders. Try to articulate yourself in a way, that shows what you would appreciate but still leaves options open for her. And please consider this regarding your gestures as well. Because despite what porn might tell you, most ladies do not appreciate you pushing or pulling their head or other body parts around as if they were your puppet.

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