Updated: Feb 25
Over time partners get to know each other very well, also regarding the way they interact during sex. It is a natural process that a couple gets into a certain flow, into a certain pattern of interaction. Yet, there might be times you would like to break thru and spice up your sex life a bit and roleplay is one of the most efficient ways to do so.
The more often you have sex with somebody, the better you get to know how that person acts during intercourse, what and how he or she reacts on, what is appreciated, what does not work well, and so on. Based on that experience you also develop a pattern as a couple or sex team. That is also why having sex with somebody new is so exciting: Because every person is different and acts differently in bed, which also changes the whole sexual encounter and interaction.
While knowing your sexual partner has its perks, such as a higher amount of trust, higher intimacy, and maybe even a stronger feeling of safety, you might want to break thru the pattern from time to time. Having the wish to spice up your sex life from time to time is natural and nothing you should feel ashamed of or have a bad feeling about. Humans are blessed with a certain curiosity and need for alternation and I personally think that is a good thing. Because due to that urge we develop and evolve, learn new things, and constantly become better versions of ourselves.
New perspectives thru role play
Of course, finding a new partner is not the only way to spice up your sex life. On the contrary, sometimes spicing up the sex life you have with your known partner can be an even more satisfying process. Using role-play to get to know each other on a different level is not only inexpensive, in comparison to buying sex toys or whatsoever, but also a fun way to get to live out secret desires you might have. No matter if you are giving into role play with a new or an established partner, it will give you a glimpse of different aspects of his or hers but also your own personality, desires, and secret fantasies. It can also alter your trust in each other and strengthen the bond between you.
Talk it out
Starting off, it is important to talk it out. Playing out a role without the other one knowing will not work out well, but rather irritate your counterpart. It is important that you talk about what you’re fantasizing about, what you would like to try out, and which roles you would like to take in. Make sure that both understand what it is about and also talks about how to stop a role play if it gets too much for the one or the other. Establishing safewords is not only a thing in BDSM but in general a good thing to do.
Let the games begin
Once you have established what is okay for your counterpart and yourself and what the story is about, you can give it a try. Whereas the variety of role plays is sheer endless. Why not try out the “Pizza delivery” story, as in you being the delivery guy and your counterpart not having enough cash to pay you and therefore offering a different kind of payment - you see where this is going. Or maybe you as an inexperienced teenager have always dreamt of having sex with your teacher from schooldays and her showing you how things are done. Being pulled over by a cop might also be something that heats up your mind. Another option is, to “coincidentally” meet a hot “stranger” in a bar and hooking up with him or her. Are you a fan of spy movies? Then Mr. & Mrs. Smith might be a good idea to go for. On the other hand, why not be two strangers who accidentally bump into each other in the library, feeling so drawn to each other that they need to get down immediately, with the exciting side effect of not getting caught. You see my point: Roleplay is an endless field of possibilities, as long as the idea works for both.
As important it is to talk things thru beforehand, I also recommend you do a debrief. Tell each other what worked well, what could have been different and how you felt. Like this, you will get the chance to enhance your roleplay even further and get to know each other’s desires even better.
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