Updated: Feb 25
Meeting somebody for the first time can be nerve-wracking. Even if you have been on first dates before, every new one somehow still has the power to make your pulse go faster and your brain to feel kind of melted. But do not worry, we all know this feeling and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Still, here are some thoughts on what you could be talking about on your first date with somebody.
It’s not about you, it’s about them
The first and most important thing to remember is that you should not only be talking about yourself. Much more you will want to show your date how interested you are in them, by really focussing on them. Yes, of course, you should answer the questions you are posed, but even then do not forget to pass the topic on to your counterpart and returning the focus to their person after giving all the information asked.
During a first date, you will want to establish common grounds as soon as possible. Try to find experiences you share, find things you have both done or enjoyed. Maybe you have travelled to the same place, or felt the same in a certain situation, liked the same movie for the same reasons and so on. Drawing parallels will help you connect and feel closer to each other, something you both will want to achieve when you first meet - the faster the better.
Build on things you know
Do not forget that you already have some things to work with when you meet up for the first time. No matter if you have matched online or have been introduced by a mutual friend, there is information you can build on. Deepen your knowledge of each other by focussing on what you already know, like things from the online profile or stories of the common friend. Like this, you can expand what you know and find out even more about your date.
Stating the obvious is not wrong
Although stating the obvious might seem odd, it is a very good way to start get the conversion going in the first place. Why not ask your date, why they chose this particular place to meet, what it means to them if they frequently visit it. Or why not compliment him or her on the colour he or she is wearing and talk about what makes the colour special to them and which colours they like. There are many ways to get to know your date, even if it begins by stating the obvious.
Be creative about work
Depending on the culture we are from, talking about work is something we tend to do when we do not yet have another common topic. If you go for this topic, make sure not to so bluntly. Instead of simply asking what your date does for a living, rather talk about what motivates them, what they like about their job or what they dreamed of becoming when they were kids. Like this, you will be able to get to know their personality better and not just have an everyday discussion about work.
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