Updated: Mar 5
The latest since Samantha from “Sex and the City” showed us her drawer, we know that many women have some toys to help them out when they are alone. And I honestly believe that this is a good thing and even more something that men profit from as well. Because by using sex toys and spending time with their own body, women get to know not only their body but also what it reacts to best. Therefore, they can more easily also guide their counterpart when having sex and by that increase the pleasure for both.
But let us spin this thought even a bit further: From talks with a variety of men I very well know, that imagining a woman using a toy and giving herself pleasure, is something men like doing. And many men have told me, that they would love to at least watch their lady while having fun with some toys. So why not incorporate sex toys in the shared sex experience and spice up this a little by doing so?
How to best proceed for bringing sex toys into your partner play
Know I am aware, that bringing sex toys into the partner play might feel a bit awkward at the beginning. And of course, there might be women or persons in general, that prefer to keep the sex toy play to themselves. But you will never know if you do not ask and talk about it. So, this is my first recommendation for getting play friends into your partner play: Bring up the topic, be easy about it, and open to any answer you get.
If you and your counterpart agree on giving it a try, I would suggest, you go out shopping together. Like this, you can not only approach the topic in a fun way but also deepen the knowledge about what each of you would like, can imagine trying, and feels comfortable with.
Once you have chosen your toys make sure not to raise any expectations of any kind. Stay easy and calm about it and go with the flow. Maybe you are both in the mood to run home and try everything out, or maybe your counterpart needs some time to let it sink in and get even more accustomed to the thought.
Toys, toys, toys - which ones are best for couples
As with everything when it comes to sex, there is no right or wrong and people’s preferences vary. Still, there are some toys specifically designed for couples. In this category, you will mostly either find a variety of so-called cock rings or on the other hand a variety of vibrators, designed to give both partners a vibrating sensation.
As the name shows, cock rings are worn by the male counterpart and aim to provide a good feeling by giving an additional squeeze to the men and an additional sensation to the female. Modern cock rings for couples also often have some sort of vibrating feature and additionally stimulate the female clit.
Couple vibrators on the other hand also aim to provide an exciting sensation to both partners. Mostly they stimulate the woman's clit by vibration and give an extra touch to the gentleman’s shaft. There are also some that vibrate on both parts, so that the vibration is not only on the clit but also inside the vagina - an equal pleasure for her and for him while thrusting.
Another option is games for couples that aim to spice up the sex experience with new fun, and maybe unknown ideas. Here you will find card games, where each card either gives you a task or a question to answer, but also dice games, with different tasks to complete. Such games can be big fun and not only loosen up the tension but also give you a nudge to try out something new and exciting.
Whatever game you and your partner chose, always remember one thing: It is about having a good time together and spending beautiful hours with each other. And now I wish you lots of fun and excitement.