Updated: Apr 13
Many of my clients specifically crave Asian women and would love to date or even marry an Asian woman. At the same time, they often face difficulties when dating Asian women or feel insecure in advance about it and ask me for advice. So here it comes, my tips and tricks when it comes to dating Asian ladies.
Asian is not Asian - the devil lies in the details
I am well aware that for many Non-Asian people Asians all kind of look the same or at least very similar. I am as well sorry to say, that this is only due to a lack of knowledge since in reality Asians differ very much depending on where exactly they originate from.
This does not only go for the looks but also many traditions and behavioural patterns. Therefore, there is also a difference in dating, depending on where the lady of your choice initially originates from. Of course, if you are planning on dating an Asian-American woman, things might be different again, since she will be incorporating something of each culture.
So, if you want to be a really nice gentleman, inform yourself before going out on a date. Find out where exactly your adored one comes from and try to learn one or two things about her culture. Like this, you can make sure to get the first points for being a thoughtful counterpart and truly interested in her as a person.
But now let us take a deeper dive into the topic and let me point out some differences and specialities you will encounter when dating Asian ladies.
Dating a Vietnamese woman
Vietnamese women are known for how much they adore their man and therefore pamper him. Physically one can say, that a Vietnamese lady will most probably have black straight hair, rather pale skin and high, defined cheekbones. In comparison to their Chinese sisters, their faces are not as flat and have the most in common with their Thai sisters. In general Vietnamese women are naturally feminine and petite, as they belong to the shortest among Asian women.
Concerning their personality, Vietnamese women raised in big cities can be bold and independent, though the inherent cultural traits are still on. Regarding the roles in a relationship, tradition dictates that the man is the provider. In return, women are very loyal and can also be quite possessive.
When it comes to sex Vietnamese women know not to give the milk away with the barn and sex on the first date is an absolute no-go. As for dating: In Vietnam men will often be treated like kings, but remember that with great power comes great responsibility. When going out with a Vietnamese woman you will be expected to pay, since you as a man are seen as the provider. Also, as a man, you will have to make all the moves since Vietnamese women are culturally taught not to make the advances and makes them feel bad.
If there is one thing I can give you on your way to successfully dating a Vietnamese woman, it will be to be patient. As I have pointed out, she will for sure not go to bed with you on the first date and will also be rather reluctant. But believe, that is just part of her culture and if you are willing to be patient you will be rewarded.
Dating a Thai woman
Thai women have physically the most in common with their Vietnamese sisters and in general, one can say that the looks of Thai women are a no-brainer for Western men. How convenient, that Thai women often also fancy the looks of Westerners, whereas the reason might also be due to Hollywood. Of course, Western men above that offer two things that Thai men often cannot or do not offer: monogamy and financial security - both things very much appreciated by women.
When it comes to dating a Thai woman, remember that they are quite conservative when it comes dating. Similar to Vietnamese women, they also expect the man to pay and absolutely welcome gentlemen. Although polygamy was practised freely until 1935 Thailand is now largely a monogamous country, whereas many Thai men still have several girlfriends - something that is not appreciated at all by Thai women.
Another thing to know is that reputation is very important to Thai people and especially to virgins. Therefore, it is quite common that Thai women invite a friend along when going on a first date. Also, it might very well occur, that physical contact is kept to a minimum or avoided altogether. In Thailand, public shows of affection are not common and doing this can make you appear aggressive and your date uncomfortable. Furthermore, the head is sacred in Thai culture and you should never touch a woman's head without asking first.
Last but not least I need to let you know, that especially in the rural regions of Thailand preserving virginity is often still a thing. So, depending on where your Thai counterpart comes from it might occur that she has been raised with the traditional mindset that sex before marriage is nothing to go for. But no matter what kind of mindset towards sex your Thai date has, always make sure to be respectful towards her culture.
Dating Japanese women
As a foreigner dating in Japan can either be great or a total disaster for you since some Japanese women find western men appealing in a novelty way while others would rather gouge out their own eyes than date anyone who wasn’t ‘Made in Japan’. On the other hand, following a recent survey 98% of wester or foreign men find Japanese women attractive. Considering that Japanese women are on average petite, have a slim figure, pale skin, large eyes and inviting lips this absolutely makes sense.
Regarding their style, Japanese women often strive for the doll look which is very popular in Japan and take great care of their appearance in general. So, if you are dating a Japanese woman you can be sure she will do her best to look good. Also, culturally and according to their tradition, Japanese ladies take good care of their men and are adept at entertaining and accommodating them. But do not mistake this with submissiveness and do not doubt that Japanese women can very well be ball-busters as well. Also, be well aware that Japanese women know very well that along with accommodating their man comes big power.
In public and therefore also when on a date, Japanese women are always ladylike, whereas when it comes to their behaviour in the bedroom, they are told to be quite adventurous and energetic. When dating a Japanese lady, you will also have to remember that status and success are a common currency in Japan and viewed as indicators for virility. Therefore, you paying the bill is not only gentlemanlike but also arousing for Japanese women. Similar to other Asian countries, publicly shown affection is not something that Japanese women are used to, since it is a cultural taboo. On the other hand, not expecting it does not automatically imply that they do not appreciate this kind of affection. Just make sure to check her attitude and her mood and maybe refrain from going too wild on the first date. Last but not least, when dating a Japanese beauty, remember to read between the lines, since they have the tendency to not say what they want straightforwardly.
General rule: be nice
Before I leave you today, I would like to take a second and remind you of something very basic: Rather than focussing only on the specific things regarding the culture of the woman you date, focus on being nice in general when dating. I have never met one single woman that truly appreciated her date being rude, unrespectful or unthoughtful. On the contrary: Women in general, as men as well, like being treated nice. Everybody loves the feeling of being special to somebody and appreciated by somebody - and you can extend this rule even to everyday life situations, not only the dating world. Be nice, and you shall be treated nicely as well or as they say: What goes around, comes around.
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