Updated: Apr 27
I have been talking about the specialities of Asian women when it comes to dating for the last two times and the point, they have in common is that they very much appreciate a gentleman. Since that is a quite universal desire women of all kinds have, let us take an excursion to how a man can be a gentleman.
Being a gentleman will add to all your encounters
As simple and obvious as this might sound the reality for many women shows that it is something that not every man has understood or incorporated. Maybe that is due to the fact that being a gentleman might seem like something old-fashioned to some men, or that they have never been taught how to be a gentleman and simply lack knowledge. The fact is, that even in our days where women are self-confident and equality is being reached more and more in society, they still appreciate well-mannered men that know how to treat a lady. And that is, just to be clear, a quite universal thing, there is no woman on the entire earth that appreciates a misbehaving and unmannered man.
On the contrary, women find it much easier to trust and therefore relax when faced with a counterpart that is showing their respect and displays manners - in a nutshell: When they’re experiencing a true gentleman. Whereas being a gentleman should not be mistaken for being a macho that patronizes them.
#1 Show integrity
Let us be honest, nobody really likes a bad-mouth - no matter if female or male. Therefore, a true gentleman does not gossip, speak ill of others or spread rumours. Because let us face it: if he does it with others what is telling the woman, that he will not do it with her as well. So, make sure to always protect both her and your integrity, as also the integrity of any other people around him.
#2 Let’s dance
I know some of you might shrug now, but if you really want to be a true gentleman then learn how to dance. While it does not have to be a waltz necessarily, good footwork on the dancing floor is definitely something that is going to pay out when dating a lady. And since we are on it, that also counts for romantic, slow dances. Make sure to know how to sway your lady into the right mood and you will for sure earn additional points with her. By the way, the moonwalk from childhood does not count as good footwork in any circumstance.
#3 Make good use of your strength
If you want to be a gentleman then be kind enough to share your strength. If you see anybody struggle with something heavy, give them a hand. That applies to anybody, not only your woman. Remember, your actions are seen at any time, not only when on a date and your reputation also builds when your lady might not be around. Therefore, when you’re at the airport, the train station or even just the stairwell to your apartment and somebody’s having problems with moving something, let your superman come out and offer to be of assistance.
#4 No shortcuts for the gentleman
Talking about your reputation, a true gentleman very well knows that you only get what you give, and rightly so. That means that as a gentleman you do not take any shady shortcuts but rather work hard for enjoying the luxuries of life. Free rides are nothing that you will take as a gentleman and in return, you can be sure that whatever you achieve will taste even sweeter.
#5 No place for narrow minds
Now here comes a very important point that also proves that being a gentleman has nothing to do with being old-fashioned: a true gentleman is truly open-minded. There is no place for stubbornness or narrow thinking. On the contrary, as a gentleman, you know that listening to other opinions and views broadens your perspective and helps you learn new things.
#6 Do not use lies
Nobody, truly nobody wants to have anything to do with liars. Like really not. At the best, you even try to avoid so-called white lies, there not really necessary anyway. Though while thinking about it, there one where even a gentleman might avoid telling the truth, it is when her last visit to the hairdressers did not turn out well - you will both know the truth as you will also both know that the other knows it, but you will just say that she looks awesome and that was it - never talk about it again.
#7 Dress to impress - always
You know how they always say “the first impression counts” - well it applies. Especially when on a date, but in life generally as well, make sure you dress to impress as if it was your last chance to so. Trust me, the impression you make will have a huge effect on how your date perceives you. I mean, look at Bond and his success - it is all due to his well-fitted suits.
#8 Always respond to invitations
To be more precise make sure to always reply, even if it is just to a message. But especially when you have received an invitation be so kind to let your counterpart know if you will participate or not, even if it is just with a quick “yes” or “no”. It is only fair to do so and also a sign of respect. By the way: a common way to refer to such responses is “RSVP”, which stands for “Repondez, s'il vous plaît”.
#9 The first move
Now here comes something that might depend on which culture the woman you date is from. In general, it is said that a gentleman does not always make the first move, whereas I have pointed out, that especially Asian women tend to expect men to always do the first move. What comes to play here is, that depending on the culture so-called chivalry has evolved or not. So, for Western countries consent has become far more important than who did whichever move, while in Asian countries chivalry has evolved a bit slower, meaning that the first move is still expected to be done by the man. If you are not sure, whether to go for the first move or not, just make sure that whatever you do, you do it respectfully and thoughtfully.
#10 Good old chivalry
As I have pointed out just above chivalry is a thing, especially if you want to be a gentleman. But: chivalry has evolved and, in our days, mainly consists of the capacity to be empathetic and forgiving and also have good manners. And remember it is not about being patronizing but rather being thoughtful.
#11 Do not mistake confidence with arrogance
It is quite simple: When trying to picture the right attitude again just picture Bond. He is full of confidence but never arrogant, always considered, thoughtful and still flirty and sexy - that is what you want to achieve.
#12 Mean what you say - and vice versa
As a gentleman never let your lady have to read between the lines when you are saying something. Be clear about what you say and foremost mean what you say. Being honest and straightforward, of course without being thoughtless, is highly appreciated in communication and is proof that you respect your counterpart. It is quite simple: if you want to be a gentleman, get to the point - nicely.
#13 Do not judge a book by its cover
Remember the thing about being open-minded? Well, this point goes in a similar direction: never judge. Being judgemental is one of the worst things to do and all the opposite of being a gentleman. So, make sure not to judge a book by its cover and refrain from being judgemental in the first place.
#14 The power of food
We all know about the power of food and have probably also about how “love goes through the stomach”. Well, it is true - so you better learn how to cook. Now it does not have to be the cooking of a Michelin chef, but 2-3 solid menus would be nice. So basically, keep it simple and nice and you will definitely succeed - and impress by being a gentleman and a good cook.
#15 Walk, offer & open
Here come three easy things for you to apply for being a perfect gentleman while on a date: If you enter a building together, make sure to open the door for her and make sure to offer her your coat if she feels cold by any case - but remember not to impose yourself. Also, be so polite to walk your date home - even if the date did not go as planned, it is a question of kindness and safety.
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