Updated: Mar 11
Good sex has nothing to do with how long it lasted. A quickie of three minutes can be as pleasurable as a long-lasting sex session of 2 hours. It’s not really the amount of time that matters but way more a question of how you and your partner felt during the act and if you both enjoyed it.
Still, my clients often ask me, how long sex must last for it to be viewed as good.
So the misconception that it is all about the duration of sex still seems to be alive. Furthermore, men don’t only seem to think about this quite often but equally often seem to feel insecure about it. From what I’ve been told, the fear of not holding up long enough makes a lot of men cringe and feel stressed.
So let me point it out to you once more, as a professional who knows what she is talking about: Believe me when I say, that it is for sure not about the time sex lasts. What women really appreciate far more than sex just taking long, is the attention they are given during sex and the way sex makes them feel. But still, for those of you wanting to work on their performance timewise, I have some easy ways for you to work with.
Studies have shown that the extensive consumption of alcohol and tobacco can have negative effects on how long you can hold on to your erection. Also, sleep deprivation and a lot of stress can impact your erection-capability, as well as certain drugs and medicaments. So try to restrain from too many harmful substances and be sure to get enough sleep. Not only will you feel better then, but you will also have better chances to provide long during sex.
2. Train by yourself
Another way to improve your perseverance is to simply masturbate. But: When you do so, try stopping shortly before you orgasm, then wait a few minutes and do the same again, up to 2-3 times. Like this, your body will get used to stopping before you cum and you will be able to do the same during sex. You can even occasionally try to masturbate without orgasming at all, this will give you the feeling of total control and help your psyche.
3. Take lustful breaks
Whoever said, that once started the intercourse cannot be paused by other pleasurable things? Why not alternate and add some play to the whole sex experience. So when you are having sex and feel that you are close to climaxing simply stop and indulge in another activity, such as for example going down on your partner, engage in some serious petting, or even change the scene and move your game to another room. This will give your penis time to calm down a bit and ensure that he will be going longer.
4. Strengthen your pelvic floor
You might think this is something that only concerns women, but that isn’t so. A strong pelvic floor is equally good for men and not only increases your ability to have sex longer but also intensifies your orgasm. For training, simply squeeze your pelvic muscle. That is the one you use when you are urinating and stop in between. By squeezing that muscle, a couple of times per day for at least 5 and up to 30 seconds you can exercise it and make it stronger. Like this controlling when you orgasm will become much easier.
5. Control your movement & your breath
Try not to fall into a monotone rhythm with your thrusts. It is far better to alternate between short and deep thrusts as well as changing the direction of your move. Not only will that help you delay your orgasm, but it will also be greater fun for your partner. And regarding your breath: Most men hold their breath when they fear they are about to come and want to yet avoid it. But that is exactly the opposite of what will actually help you. By holding your breath, you increase the chances of orgasming because you hold back adrenalin and carbon dioxide with your breath. If instead you breathe calmly and focussed, you can delay the orgasm much better. Specifically, try to inhale when you are exiting her vagina and exhale when you enter it.