Updated: May 3
Finding Your Map to Pleasure
Finding your pleasure is easier than you might think. It doesn’t have to be complicated or take years of your life trekking through Asian jungles seeking the wisdom of a tantric master. And it doesn’t have to be scary. You may have been told that your body was broken, wrong or you might just feel like you never found your sexual pleasure, to begin with. But that doesn’t mean you stuck. And ps. “They” were wrong. Pleasure Is in You Wired into your body and your nervous system is the ability to
access incredible pleasure.
No one ever told me that. When I was a young woman the only “sexed” I received was precautionary. Don’t get pregnant and don’t get an STD. Pleasure, desire, turn on and soulful connection never entered the conversation. And I know for a fact that these conversations haven’t changed much over the last 25 years. We still don’t really understand the “beauty” of sex and the power and availability of many kinds of pleasure.
So, here’s the lesson I wish I was told all those years ago.
You can access amazing pleasure and sexual turn-on inside and outside of sex
AND you don’t need a partner to show you how that works. Your body IS your OWN
and as the owner, you need to understand what she likes, how she works, and what
feels amazing for you so that you can bring this confidence and understanding
to the table when you do have a partner.
Creating Your Own Map
Where do you start? How do you find pleasure when you’ve never experienced it or
haven’t reached the level that you’d like?
Play with loving your body a little more, play with self-massage and affirmations when you wake up every day. Play with flirting a little more with your partner, the coffee guy, or that friend who always teases you. Enjoy your femininity and see how much fun you can have and how free can you be?
Play with sex. Sex is supposed to be fun so don’t overthink it. Try something new and see how it feels. Too often when you approach sex with a goal –to look sexy, to impress/please a partner, to get to orgasm. But if you remove the goal and just have fun with seeing what feels good, you will learn more about what does and doesn’t work for you.
Discovering Your Pussy
Your pussy needs some love too. And if you’ve been ignoring her, shaming her, or have disconnected from her then it's time to get reacquainted. Pussies love attention. She loves to be loved and the more love she gets the more she will wake up, turn on and show you what she’s truly capable of. Say hi. I remember reading a book a few years ago that spoke about how when we have conversations with our pussy it acts as a way of creating a mind-body connection. So just say hi, place your hand over her and say hello or give her an “I love you”, whatever feels good for you. Then you can continue to love her with some gentle massage, with no goal in mind but just for the sake of feeling connection and pleasure. Take your time. Get acquainted.
Mapping Your Body
Pleasure is more than just sex and more than just an orgasm. There are an unending number of ways your body can feel pleasure and each body is different, so what feels great for you may fall flat for your partner.
The greatest way to create your map is to explore. Experiment with different kinds of touch, sensations, spots, speeds, textures anything you think might be interesting to try, just do it. It’s the fastest and most accurate way to figure out what turns you on and off (physically).
If this all sounds amazing but you’re not sure where to
start or you feel like you need more ideas and support, then your next step is
to come and join me.